I want it that way

The Backstreet Boys.

One of my all-time favorite bands. And yes, I freely admit it. [I’m a nineties kid, ‘kay?] J

Confession of obsession aside [I just thought was pretty cute, even though I’m not really obsessed- I swear, I’m not!], The Boys do have a song for nearly every occasion.

I only bring it up because there are quite a few that could be used to perfectly describe my current situation. And I figured well hell; writing about it may be the only way to work through it. Truly, it’s insane. Like, certifiably so.

A couple of blogs ago [Part VII- The Darkness], I wrote about how Uni was supposed to be my clean slate all that, but I never banked on this happening. Often I sit in lectures biting my lip out of sheer… I know not what. Perhaps disbelief? Incredulity? I dare say, adoration? It’s like I have a mental block every time I think on it.

How am I supposed to contend with something like this?

But Backstreet’s Back, all right! J So here, watch this:

I tried to go on like I never knew you. I’m awake when my world is half asleep. Every time you leave I’m inconsolable. That makes you larger than life. And without you all I’m going to be is incomplete. So quit playing games with my heart. Yeah, I should have known from the start; you are my fire, my one desire. Honey, that’s no lie. Now let me show you the shape of my heart.

Couldn’t have made something like that up myself… The words have too much meaning…

What if I told you that that’s the story of my life right now? What if that is how I really feel? What if… such and iffy phrase, don’t you think? [Haha, see what I did there?]

But sometimes the right words elude you. Scratch that, sometimes words elude you all together, be they good or bad. However, in my expert opinion as a medical student, I’d say that allowing any one person to affect you that much can’t be good. And I stand first in line for admonition, believe me. I just don’t see what I can do about it. We can’t stop or prevent the way we react, not easily, anyway. Honestly. I’ve tried. Although, I don’t think I wanted to stop it badly enough… because

You are my fire, my one desire. Believe me when I say, I want it that way.

*Mash-up of: Incomplete, Inconsolable, Quit playing games, I want it that way, Shape of my heart, and I’ll never break your heart.

**P.S. There’s something like a triple pun on the ‘larger than life’ bit. =)

***P.P.S. I’ve always wanted to add a P.P.S. at the end of something I’ve written. =) <3

29 July 2013