The only way any
of us stay sane is the one thing every single one of us should avoid. We're all
beholden to some vice. And the severity thereof may vary, but it's all the
same. Alcoholics, smokers, serial daters, one-night standers... In this
profession, we are exposed to things "normal" people don't even know
exist. Some of us go crazy, some of us live it up- If we're going to die
anyway, why even worry about it? Like we'll make it to 30...
You say life
screws us all, but you have no idea how badly some people get srewed. I'm glad;
you don't all need to become head cases...
Sometimes I think it's like being a Hunter; you go places, you see bad things, you do what you can to help. But in the end, life happens. And freewill is naught but an illusion. You begin to realize that maybe, just maybe, it's all bigger than your glamorous and inflated "I'm a doctor, the rest of y’all are losers!" opinion of yourself. You begin to realize just how small you really are. You begin to realize that it's not about getting paid- it's about the people. Everything was laid out in a specific way, for a specific reason, long before you even came along. Then there's you, trying to be a hero and do whatever you can for whoever you can... But freewill and decisions only go so far. Something's always gotta give, you know?
Having just
begun this journey, having already realized these things, having already found
my vice [I ashamedly admit], I can only hope and pray that I'll be given the
chance to do good, to be good, to promote good. I can only hope and pray that
I'll become the best doctor, the best person, the best agent of change that I
can be.
In the end, that's all we can hope for, isn't it. Reaching our true potential, becoming who we were always meant to be...
My very first semester of Medical school is drawing to a close, my midyears are looming, I feel like I know nothing. Yet, I somehow feel as though I gained a multitude of wisdom from the amazing doctors and professors who lecture us. I may not remember how the cell membrane reacts in the presence of an acetylcholine ligand, or how to solve a stoichiometric problem, but if there is one thing I remember from the past three and a half months, it's this:
"Turn your wounds into a source of healing for others." - Doctor Stefanus Snyman
